"Snoochie boochies mutha fukka!  You just couldn't resist opening the Sith Holocron could you?  What?  'you expectin' some other Sith Lord?  Well this is the Sith Holocron of Darth Crush, a.k.a. Garbacca here.

But we ain't got no secrets to give away today.  Check back at a later date.  Snoogins mutha fukka!"