Viper & Bossko B.

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GM Section
Tales of the Jedi
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Tapani Sector

Time Bandit Cartoon
D20 Prestige Class
Order of Viper


Bossko B.


Character Type Pilot
Race Trandoshan
Age 30 (ish)
Quote "Yeah baby yeah!"

"I am really the leader of the Time Bandits.  Me and an invisible purple aardvark named Albert.  Albert does sometimes turn blue and look like a bantha though.  He likes listening to jizz bands too.  And I like ice cream.  But not toffee.  Can I go and tease the Sith Lords now?  Can I?  Can I? Can I?"

Blaster 5D Languages 4D Astrogation 5D
Brawling Parry 8D+2 Planetary Systems 4D Repulsorlift Op. 7D
Dodge 8D Streetwise 3D+2 Starship Gunnery 8D
Wrestling 4D+2 Survival 5D Starship Piloting 12D
Martial Arts 5D+2 Technology 4D+1 Starship Shields 5D
Acrobatics 5D Starship Tactics 4D Hoverboard Op. 6D
Confusion 5D Brawling 11D Computer Prog/Rep 4D
Hide/Sneak 3D+1 Stamina 5D+2 Repulsorlift Rep 3D+1
Search 4D+1 Swimming 4D+1 Starship Rep. 6D
Willpower 3D+1        



Equipment: Blaster Rifle, hoverboard, A-Wing starfighter, space-bike, swoop, high quality vac suit, comlink, entertainment droid

Capsule: Bossko B. isn't quite all there.  Well maybe he is there but not in any meaningful order.  His mind is very strong and he has shown subconscious use of Jedi techniques, especially boosted healing.  Despite his madness Bossko B. is a prolific fighter, and expert in Martial Arts.  He is also one of the best pilots in the galaxy.  Due to the chaos that always follows in his wake, and his insistence on teasing any Sith Lords he sees, Bossko is not sent on many missions.

Bossko B. has not always been like this, though the true story of what happened has been told with many contradictions.  What is known is that he used to be a Bounty Hunter named Bossk, sharing his name with the infamous Bounty Hunter who tracked Han Solo and Chewbacca.  He had displeased Jabba the Hutt in some way and the mighty crime lord had sent some goons to kill him.  It is said that a week after being brutally shot and stabbed over a hundred times, no doubt an exaggeration, Bossk crawled his way into Mos Eisley.  Apparently he would not die and fought off his would be attackers.  The damage inflicted upon him caused the mental damage turning him into the loony now known as Bossko B.  Another story says that Jabba the Hutt was dealing with an ancient magical relic at the time, and that Bossk somehow came into contact with the device causing his madness and resistance to pain and his body regeneration.  There is even a tale of Bossko falling into a pit of lava and crawling out unscathed.  No one can really remember the truth, and Bossko is too mad to know himself.  The latest theory is time-trauma, and with Vipers lunacy recently worse this is s strong possibility.  Whether time-trauma will start to effect other Time Bandits, only time will see

Bossko B. is usually found racing the hallways of Time Bandit HQ on his hover-board or taking his A-Wing starfighter for a spin.  Bossko is known for playing practical jokes on numerous members of the Time Bandits and spends much time annoying Ripley, Trish and especially The Phenom.

BosskoB.'s personality can shift in an instant.  One minute he might be running around shouting 'chew-chew' pretending to be a steam locomotive, the next he could be acting out cartoon characters.  He can really get on peoples nerves when he thinks he's in a musical and sings everything he says!

Quirks / Odd abilities: Really good at video games, can Moonwalk better than Michael Jackson, can imitate any cartoon character.




Character Type Psycho Mercenary
Race Human
Age 20
Quote "You are so dead!"

"Hi, have you got a big one.  Bet mines bigger than yours.  My gun I mean.  Geez, what did you think I was talking about?"

Click on portrait for Anatomy of Viper

Blaster 6D Survival 4D Astrogation 3D
Brawl Parry 6D Languages 4D Starship Gunnery 3D
Dodge 6D Streetwise 4D Starship Piloting 4D
Melee 8D Chemistry 4D Ground Vehicle 7D
Melee Parry 6D
Heavy Weapons 6D
Grenade 7D
Command 4D Brawling 5D Security 4D
Con 5D Stamina 7D Demolitions 4D+2
Gamble 4D First Aid 3D
Hide/Sneak 4D Ground Vehicle Rep. 6D
Search 4D

Equipment: Large Mallet, lots of grenades & thermal detonators, several tanks, lots of blasters, belch gun, spray paint, flame-thrower, medpacs, Charon Web-spinner.

Capsule: Viper is what the Time Bandits are all about.  A nutter with a big gun, lots of Thermal Detonators and a garage full of tanks.  She has come close to death many times, the most recent on Alderaan many centuries before it's destruction when war was ripe on the planet.  The Time Bandits got themselves involved in a pitch battle.  Viper, manning her repulsor-tank, charged into battle.  A combination of being out numbered and bad luck nearly took her life.  Her tank took a direct hit from enemy fire, and as if that wasn't enough the shock of the blast set off several of her Thermal Detonators!!!  Now cyborged Viper's death-wish spirit has still to be dulled.  Even more recently she became trapped within the space/time vortex in a damaged TARDIS occupied by ALIENS.  With all but one ALIEN to go Viper was on her last legs.  The ALIEN lunged forward extending it's 'inner' maw ready to feed on the small girl.  Viper met the ALIENs bite with a grenade launcher.  The exploded ALIEN caused acid burns across Vipers face, which she thinks is cool!  Viper is usually found in the company of the mad Bossko B. or taking the mickey out of the Phenom.  Minion and Ripley are also amongst her closest friends in the Time Bandits.

Due to a bizarre set of events it turns out that Viper actually caused the Big Bang that created the Universe.  By creating the Universe that sort of makes Viper a goddess.  Now Viper as a god is just too bizarre even by Time Bandits standards.  Bossko keeps asking her to turn water into fizzy-glug but her attempts usually lead to the aforementioned glass of water being poured over Bossko, or the Phenom if he's closer.  Despite her godly status, and not without trying, it appears that Dr.Ugavine is still the only being who can burn water!!

Viper is not currently aware of the existence of the Order of Viper.  What her reaction will be when she finds out no ones knows.

Quirks / Odd abilities: Really good at video games, can fart at will, can open beer bottles with teeth, can name every model of nuclear warhead ever produced in the history of the universe, gives her tanks pet names.

Notes of Insanity

a few of the things Bossko B. & Viper have got up to

Viper accidentally created the Universe, therefore making herself god!

They put laxatives in the Phenoms food.

Put pink dye in with the Time Bandit laundry.

Bossko B. often runs up and down the HQ corridors pretending to be a steam train.

Viper regularly has arguments with herself, and rarely wins!

Bossko B. has an invisible (imaginary) friend called Albert who is a purple with yellow spots Aardvark, sometimes.

Viper once woke up with a hangover to find that she had mined the floor of her room while she was pissed the night before.

In an alternate time-line Viper, with her last gasp of life, killed Darth Vader with a Thermal Detonator.

Bossko B. once appeared on Opportunity Knocks at the Imperial Palace, but lost due to the unfavourable reaction to his Emperor Palpatine impression.

Viper once peed off the top of Time Bandit HQ hitting someone three miles away!

Viper often dyes her pubes pink to match her outfit, and proves it to anyone that asks, and quite a few people that don't!



Time Bandit Main Page

More Time Bandits

Bossko's guide on How to piss off an Imperial Stormtrooper

When stopped tell him to hurry because you're on the way to blow up the Death Star.

When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.

If he asks if you knew how fast you were going say you don't want to say because it was double figures and you know Imperials can't count that high.

Ask if you can see his gun. When he says it's against Imperial Law tell him you just wanted to see if yours was bigger.

Ask him if those snazzy uniforms come in different colours.

Ask him if the Empire has heard of camouflage.

When the Stormtrooper approaches tell him that you're close buddies with Darth and if he tries any funny business you are authorised to use the throat choke.

When he goes to arrest you sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"

When the Stormtrooper starts speaking repeat everything he says.

Ask if he watches Troops.

Try to sell him the most illegal weapon you possess.

Ask if he can arrange the sale of a TIE Fighter, but you don't want it in that dull grey.

If you are arrested, on the way to the militia office repeatedly ask, 'can I drive, can I drive?'

Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party.

Ask if he has the Emperors personal comlink number.

Keep telling him that the Stormtrooper who arrested you last time did a lot better job.

Constantly address the Stormtrooper as Mr. Fett (or Mrs. Fett is you really want to annoy him).

Say that you heard that Jango Fett had a small willy, and enquire if that's the same for all the clones.

If he turns his back on you give him a wedgie.

When answering him cup you hands over your mouth to sound like a Stormtrooper too making a clicking sound before and after every sentence.


Bossko 3:16 sez 'snoochie boochies!'