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Holmes & Dorian Craze
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No Earth
Holmes returns to Earth, to find
Earth is not there!
Holmes - Time Lord
Trixx - Vincocci Tech
Dorian Craze - Victorian Soldier
Last episode... after absorbing the temporal energy from Moriarty’s
exploding time ship Holmes sets the TARDIS in motion and is forced
to Regenerate.
The TARDIS hurtles through the
galaxy past Saturn, Jupiter until it sling-shots around Pluto and
enters the space/time vortex as it hurtles back towards the Earth.
Trixx and Dorian Craze are still in shock at the amazing interior of
the TARDIS combined with seeing their friend change his appearance
before their eyes. Holmes gathers himself and starts running around
the TARDIS console flicking switches, pulling and pushing levels.
Overwhelmed by it all Dorian slumps into an armchair and has a cup
of tea. Trixx too is coming to terms with the time-travel aspect of
their journey.
GM note:
The TARDIS interior has not yet been re-configured from the previous
story. The doors open to a staircase leading to what was Sherlock
Holmes study. The bookcase of the study opens inwards as a secret
door leading to the Console Room. The Console Room is huge and apart
from the wooden console at the center would not be out of place in a
Victorian mansion. It has bookcases around the room and a spiral
staircase leading up to a gantry and a doorway deeper into the
TARDIS. Generally it is very similar to the 8th Doctor TARDIS.
The TARDIS arrives at Earth in the year 4067, but the Earth is
missing. Gone. And from the asteroid remains Holmes deduces that
Earth has most likely been destroyed. Holmes uses the TARDIS sensors
to try and detect any spatial residue that would indicate the Earth
has been moved. Nothing. Holmes is bemused. He knows he has visited
Earth further into the future. Something is amiss!
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Suddenly the TARDIS is nearly hit
by a passing starcruiser that zooms by. While travelling at
sub-light speeds it was still extremely fast.
Dorian "Next you’re going to tell me the Earth has been destroyed to
make way for a hyper-space by-pass."
Holmes "Yes, it would appear so."
Dorian "So what do we do?"
Holmes "We go back and find out what happened. Hold on!"
Holmes pulls a leaver and the
TARDIS once more hurtles through the space-time vortex until it
reaches the year 2016. Earth. But the planet is surrounded by two
dozen starships, a Judoon Destructor Fleet! The Judoon are the
equivalent to Intergalactic Police. They are overly officious and
carry out the law regardless of the consequences of their actions.
Trixx "They’re going to blow the Earth up!"
Holmes "Not if I can help it." Holmes opens communications with the
Judoon command ship. The Judoon cut him off mid sentence
(GM note: player made a
disastrous Presence + Convince roll so I gave him a temporary -1 to
Presence). Dorian asked to
speak to the Judoon so Holmes put him through just for the Judoon to
ignore him just the same.
Trixx "Can’t you..."
Holmes "Yes, I was about to thank you!"
The TARDIS materialises on the bridge of the Judoon command ship. As
Holmes exits the TARDIS, which is still in the form of a Police
public call Box, and is met my the Judoon Captain and several Judoon
armed with Laser Rifles.
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Captain "Fo Ro Sho Bo Toh Doh?"
[what do you want]
Holmes "By the powers of the High Council of Time Lords and the
Shadow Proclamation I demand you stop what you are doing and tell me
why you are blowing up the planet Earth!"
Captain "you are hereby fined 10,000 credits for Trespass on a
Judoon starship."
Trixx slides past Holmes as he prepares to activate his Engram
Eraser (a small device to blank memories), but he is met with the
barrel of a Judoon laser rifle.
Captain "Illegal possession of Engram Eraser. Fine 1000 credits."
Holmes "I SAID, by the powers of the High Council of Time Lords and
the Shadow Proclamation I DEMAND you stop what you are doing and
tell me why you are blowing up the planet Earth! Tell me!"
Captain "The High council of Time Lords has been destroyed."
Holmes "Correct. This makes me the voice of the High Council!"
Captain "Earth is scheduled to be destroyed as ordered by the Shadow
Proclamation."
Holmes "That cannot be right. Tell them to stop."
Captain "No."
Holmes "Then I will. I want to meet with the Shadow Proclamation.
Now!"
The Captain nods. Before Holmes can object the TARDIS is clamped and
teleported with Holmes & Trixx (Dorian still aboard the TARDIS) to
the Shadow Proclamation - the equivalent of a Galactic Government.
The trio exit the TARDIS where two more Judoon guards wait along
with the Shadow Proclamation representative Mistril.
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GM Note: I loved GMing
Mistril, and she was actually a spur of the moment character because
I’d forgot to write-up the Shadow Proclamation Representative.
Mistril is a woman, about 5’ 6" with chalk white skin (somewhat
influenced by the Albino Servant in Stolen Earth). She wears a
flowing white dress, has mad white hair and long fingernails. She is
very expressive with her hands when she speaks (I actually acted
this out) moving her arms, hands and fingers slowly with her words.
Her speech pattern is one of dispair, and slight disinterest. I very
much plan to include Mistril in a future game.
Mistril "The Judoon inform me
you are unable to pay the fine for trespass."
Holmes "That’s not important. Why are you blowing up the Earth?!"
Mistril "The Earth? Oh that. It’s destruction has been passed by the
Shadow Proclamation."
Holmes "There are millions of people on that planet."
Mistril [sigh] "Plans for it’s destruction have been on display for
one hundred years for any objections to be lodged."
Holmes "I’m objecting now."
Mistril [resigned sigh] "You are too late to file any objections."
Homes "But how could they complain? Earth is primitive. A Level 5
civilisation. They have no space travel. Well, they went to the
moon, but aside from that."
Mistril [sigh] "That cannot be correct. The Shadow Proclamation
would not authorise the destruction of a level 5 world."
Holmes "Ha. There."
Mistril "And you are?"
Holmes "I am Mr. Holmes. A Time Lord."
Mistril [big sigh/groan] "Oh. And you?"
Trixx "I’m Trixx from Vinvocci."
Mistril "And you?"
Dorian "Err.. Dorian Craze."
Mistril "From?"
Dorian "From Earth."
Mistril "You just said Earth was a level 5 civilisation and not
space-faring."
Homes "Yes, correct. He came with me."
Reluctantly Mistril goes over to her computer terminal.
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Mistril [sigh] "The destruction
order was made by a Mr. Smith, from Earth via an agent on Arcadia.
It was sanctioned by Mr. Vorn, Commissioner of the Shadow
Proclamation."
Holmes "From Earth? He must be an impostor. The Doctor sometimes
used the name Mr. Smith."
Mistril [big sigh] "Oh no, not The Doctor."
Holmes "No, this wouldn’t be him. Say, where were the plans on
display again?"
Mistril [sigh] "On Arcadia."
Trixx "But Arcadia was destroyed."
Holmes "In the Time War."
Mistril "You are correct." For the first time Mistril shows concern.
"That cannot be. The plans must be on display for 100 years."
Holmes "Right. So you can stop the Earth’s destruction?"
Mistril [sigh] "No. It was authorised by Commissioner Vorn, only he
can reverse the decision."
Holmes [now he is sighing] "Right. Can we PLEASE see Commissioner
Vorn."
Mistril [reluctant sigh] "Yes, I suppose. Guards, take the prisoners
to see Commissioner Vorn."
The group are marched through the bright white corridors of the
Shadow Proclamation space station to Commission Vorns off.
The Judoon Guard presses the comm, "The Time Lord to see you Mr.
Vorn."
Commissioner Vorn "What?! [farts] Oh crap! One minute!"
The group wait.
Holmes turn to the Judoon guard "He’s running away you know?" The
guard just stands there.
Holmes "Back Door open. He’s running. Still running. He’s getting
away."
With that Holmes pulls out his Sonic Screwdriver and unlocks the
door. Holmes, Trixx and Dorian charge in where they see Vorn, a big
fat but with surprising speed, running down a corridor from a door
the far side of the room. They give chase. The Judoon just stand
there. A few seconds later one of the Judoon activates his comm,
"The prisoners ran off." |
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 Vorn
tries to use a lift to get to the starship docking bay but Holmes
again uses his Sonic screwdriver to stop the lift. The group follow
Vorn down who is now on the engineering level. Vorn dodges between
power generators pushing the Crespallion workers out of the way.
Nowhere else to run he darts across a narrow gantry. Dorian reaches
the gantry first and casually (GM note: Spending a Story Point)
presses the button to retract the gantry. Vorn turns around but
loses his balance and falls to his death. Trixx and Holmes both
tried to save him but they also fall off the edge but just manage to
hang on (GM note:
with Holmes having to spend a Story Point to save himself).
[Stomp, Stomp!!] The Judoon guards turn up. "You are charged with
the manslaughter of Commissioner Vorn. Mandatory 50 years
imprisonment!"
The group are marched back to see Mistril who already knows what
happened, and she is even starting to believe that vorn may have
been an impostor. After some thought the group ask to prove Mr.
Smith is a fake. Mistril reluctantly agrees, though thankful just to
get them out of her sight, and advises them that she has discovered
Mr. Smith has an office on Alpha Centauri. They are allowed to use
the TARDIS, but the ‘Clamp’ fitted by the Judoon means they will
only be able to return to the Shadow Proclamation.
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Arrival at Alpha Centauri
GM Note: I could
not find any canonical reference describing the planet of Alpha
Centauri so had the planet much like New Earth with tall shining
skyscrapers, the largest of which being the Civil Offices where Mr.
Smith supposedly worked.
 Entering
the office block the lobby is huge. There are fifty reception desks
with at least 30 people in every queue, many of the people here are
Alpha Centaurians**
Dorian had and idea and addressed one of the queues. "Excuse me
ladies, gentlemen and" err.. whatever.. can you look at me please?"
He flashed the whole queue with his Engram Eraser, "You’ve got what
you want, you can go home." Everyone in the queue walks off allowing
Holmes, Trixx & Dorian to walk to the front.
GM Note: What
followed was hilarious! And while I would not normally allow such
abuse of the Engram Eraser it was so funny I just had to let it go.
external image
Alpha Centauri "Hello, How can I help you?"
Holmes "We have an appointment with Mr. Smith."
Alpha Centauri "Okay, what is you name?"
Holmes [had his Psychic paper ready] "Oh, err... Jones."
Alpha Centauri "I’m sorry, I have no appointment in that name."
Holmes "Damn. Start again."
Dorian steps forward [Engram Eraser:
Zzap!]
Alpha Centauri "Hello, How can I help you?"
Holmes "Hi, I have an appointment with Mr. Smith." [Psychic Paper in
hand] "I have authorisation."
Alpha Centauri "Oh yes, but what is you name please?"
Dorian [Engram Eraser:
Zzap!]
Alpha Centauri "Hello, How can I help you?"
Holmes "My appointment is next with Mr. Smith."
Alpha Centauri "Oh sorry, your appointment has been moved to next
week."
Dorian [Engram Eraser:
Zzap!]
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Alpha Centauri "Hello,
How can I help you?"
Holmes "My appointment is next with Mr. Smith."
Alpha Centauri "Oh sorry, your appointment has been moved to next
week."
Holmes "It is urgent. I must see him immediately."
Alpha Centauri "Okay. Have you completed the Urgent Appointment
form?"
Holmes "And what colour is that?"
Alpha Centauri "Yellow."
Dorian [Engram Eraser:
Zzap!]
Holmes this time quickly looks over the desk to see the list of
appointments on the screen. They were Zak, Gil and Rammsbottom.
Alpha Centauri "Hello, How can I help you?"
Holmes [with psychic paper] "My name is Zak, I have an appointment
with Mr. Smith."
Alpha Centauri "Oh sorry, your appointment has been moved to next
week."
Holmes "Damn!"
Dorian [Engram Eraser:
Zzap!]
Alpha Centauri "Hello, How can I help you?"
Holmes [with psychic paper] "My name is Zak, I have an appointment
with Mr. Smith."
Alpha Centauri "Oh sorry, your appointment has been moved to next
week."
Trixx "you used the same name!"
Holmes "Yes, I know!"
Dorian [Engram Eraser:
Zzap!]
Alpha Centauri "Hello, How can I help you?"
Holmes "My name is Gil, I have an appointment with Mr. Smith."
Alpha Centauri "I think I had better call security."
Holmes "Why?"
Alpha Centauri "Because you are certainly not Gil."
Holmes "How do you know?"
Alpha Centauri "Because you look nothing like my husband!"
Dorian [Engram Eraser:
Zzap!]
Alpha Centauri "Hello, How can I help you?"
Holmes "My name is Rammsbottom. I have an appointment with Mr.
Smith."
Alpha Centauri "Oh yes. Floor 300. Have a nice day."
At which point
the group nearly collapsed through exhaustion & laughter. external
image
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Holmes, Trixx & Dorian finally
reach floor 300 where they open into a small reception room with a
very large human looking lady behind the desk. The smell wasn’t too
pleasant. The reception is open with two doors the far side of the
room, one main door to Mr. Smiths Office and a second door into his
office from behind the reception desk.
Receptionist "Sorry sirs, Mr. Smith is busy right now. He’ll be
about an hour, but you are welcome to wait."
Dorian [Engram Eraser:
Zzap!] "Just tell him
we’re here."
Receptionist "Of corse sir."
Dorian made a successful Awareness check to realise that the Engram
Eraser had done nothing to the receptionist, so she knows they were
bluffing her. Holmes opens the office door, another use of the sonic
screwdriver, and the three burst in where Mr. Vorn sits at his desk
with the receptionist and another associate next to him. All three
are large humans.
Holmes "Sorry for bursting in like this."
Mr. Smith "Not at all, it is I who should apologise." At which he
farts rather loudly and presses a button locking the door. He
presses another and a hologram of the Earth surrounded by the Judoon
Destructor Fleet and a timer counting down from 55 minutes. He farts
again!
GM note: the
Dorian player suddenly throws his head back "of course!" And I think
the other players are just starting to twig.
 Holmes
"Why are you trying to destroy Earth?"
Mr. Smith "Simple. Revenge. The humans killed close family of ours,
and we will have our revenge!"
Holmes [nervously asks] "Who exactly are your family?"
Mr. Smith laughs "Why. We are SLITHEEN!"
At that the other two tear out of their skin suits revealing their
true hulking green form!
Holmes turns and unlocks the door. The three of them RUN! Mr. Smith
laughs and the two other Slitheen give pursuit. Dorian is caught but
Trixx & Holmes reach the lift. One of the Slitheen races them down
the stairs but Holmes & Trixx are already across the lobby. The
Slitheen is fast so Trixx tries to buy Holmes some time, time enough
to prove to the Shadow Proclamation that the Slitheen were behind
everything. Trixx tries to shoulder barge the huge Slitheen, and
amazingly the Slitheen comes off worse! |
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Trixx & Holmes get back to the
TARDIS and are able to record an image of the Slitheen. They
immediately set the TARDIS in motion causing it, due to the Judoon
clamp, to bounce right back to the Shadow Proclamation. Holmes and
Trixx rush out and are met by Mistril.
"It’s the Slitheen!" shout Trixx
and Holmes together.
Mistril just sighs again, "Yes, yes, we know. We’ve been following
you."
Back on Alpha Centauri in the office of Mr. Smith several armed
Judoon teleport in. Two of the Slitheen try to run but are stunned.
The Slitheen are taken into custody and Dorian reunited with his
friends. The charges of manslaughter for Commission Vorn are
dropped, Vorn was already dead and was a Slitheen.
Mistril "There is still a matter of the 11,000 credits you owe."
Trixx "But we have no money."
Holmes "And we just saved the Earth."
Mistril [big sigh] "Fine, whatever, I’ll adjourn the case for 100
years." (GM note:
it’s impossible for me to explain the fun had making all the hand
motions for Mistril and the total despair in her voice)
The Judoon remove the clamp. Trixx Dorian and Holmes enter their
ship, the TARDIS, which dematerialises.
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