Barbie
A bimbo model from a reality TV show


Opening scene: The TARDIS flies through the space/time vortex. The Potter decides he wants to go see the first extra-galactic space flight from Earth. He sets toe co-ordinates and in moments the TARDIS is drifting through space, buffeted by asteroids, precisely where the Earth should be!

The Potter does a few checks, goes to the door to gather some asteroid dust, checks that, and confirms that it is the Earth. The Earth has gone. Destroyed! Ah, but it’s supposed to be here, and The Potter is detecting a time disturbance. Only one thing for it, go back and see what happened....

I’m a Celebrity OMG Why Did I Sign Up For This Trash Reality Show is the new TV sensation, it has at least 4 viewers if you include the cameraman. The theme of the show is Space. All the rooms are designed to look like a tacky 70’s sci-fi spaceship, hello Blake’s 7 & Doctor Who. The no-name celebrities include the usual weirdo and whack jobs, amongst which is Barbie, the latest superficial addition to the modelling profession. In her latest ‘Task’ she must juggle three packets of dried space food, but make it look like she is juggling in zero gravity. While Barbie scored high for the juggling it was decided that she did not make enough effort to make it look like she was in zero gravity so as a punishment would spend four hours in solitary in the airlock.

...The TARDIS is off once more, supposedly landing on the Earth. The monitor shows just a metal wall outside. Some kind of spaceship perhaps? The Potter decides to check outside, but the shed door opens outwards and it’s blocked. Okay, a little side-step should do the trick, and moments later the TARDIS is orbiting the Earth and the view screen was now showing fleet of starships, a Judoon destructor fleet! Meanwhile both The Potter and Terry had failed to realise they had a passenger, a blonde haired woman they had inadvertently picked up when the TARDIS landed in the Airlock TV set. Barbie sat quietly looking about thinking, ‘that was good, I wonder if they did that with mirrors?’

After a few minutes failing to contact the Judoon Riley spots the woman. The Potter gets out his sonic potters wheel to examine her. Some kind of silicon based life form is his theory. And she asks if she has to do a Task? So The Potter sends her to make a cup of tea.

Ten minutes and tea later it’s decided they confront the Judoon, with Barbie in tow.
The shed (TARDIS) lands on the bridge of the Judoon lead ship. The Potter advises Dean leave his rifle in the TARDIS as Judoon tend to shoot first then shoot later just to be sure. They exit and sure enough they are greeted by four heavily armed Judoon and the Fleet Captain. The Potter argues the legality of the Judoons plan to destroy Earth. The Judoon Captain says it is all legal, Earth is to be destroyed to make way for a new Hyperspace by-pass as per the Alpha Centauri edict confirmed by the Shadow Proclamation. The Captain advises that he will continue with the plan to destroy the Earth unless he hears otherwise from the Shadow Proclamation within the hour.

So the crew pile back into the TARDIS and set course for the Shadow Proclamation.
"That was impressive, much better than the house set," says Barbie. "Great masks. Was that spaceship all done green screen or what?!" external image

The Shadow Proclamation. The Potter is met by representative Mistryl.
GM note: I was so loving getting the chance to GM this character again. The distain. The Sorrow. The flailing of the arms as she speaks in her dull tones as if the whole universe was all too much effort.

After listening to The Potter Mistryl agrees that Earth should not be destroyed but only the commissioner can rescind the order. The commissioner is actually in a meeting with Mr. Smith, who made the actual destruction order, on Alpha Centauri.

Back into the shed and a short trip to Alpha Centauri, the TARDIS landing in the huge lobby of the Hyperspace Bureau. A squeaky voiced Alpha Centauri directs the group to floor 500, Mr. Smiths office. Once there though Mr/ Smiths secretary advises he is busy and flatly refuses to let them in. Being the persuasive lot they are they just decide to barge in, the large human looking secretary following them in complaining. In the office is just Mr. Smith sat in the bare room behind a plain desk with just a small computer console on it.

"I have an official notice here form the Shadow Proclamation ordering you to stop the destruction of the Earth," says The Potter.
"No," replies Mr. Smith.
"Millions of lives will be lost!"
"Yes," agrees Mr. Smith. "I know."
"Where is the Commissioner?"
"I am the Commissioner. But you ask too many questions."
"Okay, you are not the Commissioner. Who exactly are you?"
"Mrs. Smith, show him."
Mrs. Smith, the secretary grins evilly. She runs her nail across her forehead, tearing the skin revealing an eerie blue light. She rips off her skin suit to reveal herself as a Slitheen!
"That meddling Time Lord killed my family," says Mr. Smith as he too starts to tear away his skin suit. "This is our revenge, and we get to kill another Time Lord too, sweet."

The Potter reaches for his Sonic potters wheel and emits a sound that stuns the Slitheen. Barbie runs, Dean follows. Terry runs to reception to try and contact the Shadow Proclamation. The Slitheen fight off the sonic effects and give chase, with The Potter constantly holding them off with his sonic attack. Mrs. Smith lands a glancing blow on Terry who decides to get out of there and runs. The Potter trips but just manages to roll out of the way of a deadly clawed attack from Mr. Smith.

Meanwhile Barbie has somehow managed to open the lift door without the lift being there and nearly falls down the lift shaft were it not for Dean saving here. Moments later the lift arrives along with several armed Judoon. Mrs. Smith is injured by a laser shot, at that the Slitheen surrender and the destruction of the Earth is averted.