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From
the days of the ancient Jedi to the struggles of the Rebel Alliance
against the Galactic Empire, these are the adventures of the Warriors of
Gar.
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Warriors
of Gar Vs. New Bloodaxe Order Update
EPISODE
I Ares, God
of War worshipped on Gar, sent two messengers to meet with Tetris Bloodaxe,
Queen of Gar. Ares himself also appeared to give the Queen his
demands (a god does not ask). Ares demanded that a temple to Ares be
built at an exact location. Then Tetris would arrange a contest of
the best warriors on Gar, though he stressed this was not a 'to the death'
contest. The mightiest of the Warriors would be rewarded with a
place amongst the gods, the honour of serving a a Lieutenant in Ares own
army. Tetris however would automatically be granted the position of
General. Knowing the Queen did not want this Ares gave her a chance
to win her freedom by defeating a contestant of Ares own choosing at the
contests. The Temple was built and the contest took place.
when it was time for Tetris to fight Ares chose the powerful Coynite, and
NBO member, Nash. The Two squared off with swords at the
ready. Then, with just a finger Tetris touched Nash, who made a
theatrical fall the ground. Tetris had actually made a deal with the
NBO. No longer would the NBO stand for New Bandit Order. It is
now the NEW BLOODAXE ORDER, with Tetris, Nash and Machismo at the
helm. Their first sights are in taking control of the Blood Drift by
eliminating the Blood Emperor, Phantillios.
EPISODE
II Bail Ohmar, Jo'din Northstar and Terri Lexgar arrive at
Castle Bloodaxe to ask Tetris to stop with her NBO activities.
However, Bail and Jo'din join up with the NBO and Terri Lexgar is taken to
the dungeons (XXX details). Tetris meets up with an unknown ally who gives her
plans to the undercity of the Blood Emperors Palace, but must fight off a
vampire assassin on her return to Castle Bloodaxe. Tetris throws a
party in honour of Ares, the God of War. Ares appears and a deal is
struck that gives Tetris a huge army and the backing of the God of War
himself. Tetris also learns that the new Temple of Ares in her
kingdom secretly hides a Stargate. Ares takes Tetris through the
Stargate to the world of New Gar, a vast military metropolis in a distant
galaxy under the command of Ares.
Episode
III Tetris travels to the Sith tomb world of Korriban in search
of ancient family relics. Legend says that many centuries ago there
was a Lord Bloodaxe, who was a powerful Sith. After breaking the
Imperial blockade Tetris finds the meager tomb of her ancestor.
Tetris finds two of the three fabled Bloodaxe relics. The first is
the Blood Ruby, mounted on a silver disc on a necklace, making the wearer
invisible to the force. The second was the Gauntlet of Bloodaxe,
giving it's wearer deadly telekinetic powers. The third relic, the
Blood Axe, was suspiciously missing. Tetris had to fight past mutant
sith creatures to get back to her ship. Now Queen of Gar is ready to
confront the Blood Emperor, Phantillios.
Episode
IV As Tetris finalises her plans to kill the Blood Emperor an
assassination attempt is made on her life, one the Warrior Queen deals
with efficiently by killing both her would-be killers. Soon Tetris
is on her way to the Blood Emperors palace, and upon arriving the NBO must
act fast to stop another attempt on their lives. Finally the Blood
Emperor is confronted by Tetris Bloodaxe. Tetris neutralises the
Blood Emperor's force powers with the Amulet of Bloodaxe. The NBO
instantly take the initiative and launch their attack upon the Dark
Lord. It is Tetris herself who delivers the final killing
blow. Suddenly the spirit of the Blood Emperor stands before
Tetris. He was a ghost all along, a descendant of Bloodaxe testing
the Warrior Queen to see if she was worthy of his power, and worthy of
taking on the Bloodaxe Legacy of the Sith. Tetris has but a few days
to give her answer...
Episode
V Tetris contemplates the option given by Ares, God of War, only to
hear word of a new threat to the blood Drift. An armada of Draygon
starships had entered the Blood Drift and was destroying everything in
it's path on route to the Capital. The Draygon Warlord Carnifex
faced off with Tetris Bloodaxe and declared himself ruler of the Blood
Drift. Carnifex would not claim the Blood Emperor title though, as
the Draygon Warlord would dare not give himself the title of Emperor, a
title reserved only for Drangal. Tetris fled to Gar, where Ares
awaiting her answer. He wanted a sacrifice, two of her friends,
though not a blood sacrifice. Ares wanted Livia and the Jedi Nun
Jo'din Northstar to be as sexually brutalised as Tetris had done to Terri
Lexgar. Tetris refused. Ares left, now leaving the Queen of
Gar in a very precarious position.
Episode
VI The Hunt for Lira Vex. Tetris has a plan to get back in
Ares good books. She would make a sex sacrifice, but it would be the
SG-17 member Lira Vex, and ex-Dark Jedi who Tetris hates with a
vengeance. After humiliating Jo'din by making her strip naked,
Tetris has Terri, who was also a Stargate operative, to tell her where she
might find Lira. Terri also does not like Lira, so when Tetris says
she will let Terri take out whatever sexual fetishes she wishes on the up
tight Lira Vex Terri agrees. Tetris, Athena, Livia and Bail Ohmar
travel through the secret Gar Stargate to a Rebel safeworld.
However, the distant world was under attack by a race that would turn out
to be the Nok-Tek-Cha. Tetris helps defend the Rebel world,
protecting the poorly armed village. After combat who should appear
but none other than Lira Vex and Warriors of Gar supporter Xara
Blade. Tetris took both captive and returned to Gar.
Episode
VII Ares, God of War, happy with recent events in Castle Bloodaxe
offers Tetris a deal to reunite their alliance. Ares demands a
tribute. The sly Bloodaxe Queen knows what to do. She travels
to the Amazon kingdom and takes the Amazon Queen prisoner, offering her to
Ares. The God of War is pleased, and as a reward gives Tetris the
location of a powerful enchanted sword that the god of War himself once
wielded into combat.
Episode VIII
The Sword of Ares
The adventure starts at Castle Bloodaxe. It is a cold night and the fog is thick. Livia and Ares of Oldfort are outside and are attacks by skeletons! The pair make light work of their undead attackers, but where they come from is a mystery.
Meanwhile, on a distant planet, a mystery figure makes a deal with King Alfrun Bloodaxe.
Back on Gar Tetris leads the quest to retrieve the Sword of Ares from an ancient temple. The trek takes several days across the mountains, on foot, with the Queen of Gar accompanied by Taurus, Athena and Jo'din. The temple proves treacherous with giant critters and elaborate traps hindering the quest. Eventually Tetris finds the inner chamber, and discovers that this is in fact a temple to the goddess Athena, not Ares! regardless, the
heroes destroy the guardians and Tetris retrieves the Sword. Transported out of the temple the
heroes are opposed by Tetris's father, King Bloodaxe, along with four Draygons. Tetris is not amused, and in seconds cuts down three of the Draygons and her father while her companions simply stand there in awe. The mists reclaim King Bloodaxe and Tetris returns triumphant to Castle
Bloodaxe.
End of ACT I
For now the
NBO is over. The Warriors of Gar live on.
"I
told you dude... The Empire, Sith, NBO... they
come and go. But the Warriors
of Gar
are here forever!"
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Warriors
of Gar
Vs. New
Bloodaxe
Order
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The Land Beyond the Magic Mirror
Time
Bandits
A typical day
in Time Bandits HQ sees Viper and the rest of the Time Bandit freak show
end up in a mirror universe combing Alice in Wonderland with the Wizard of
Oz! And even Darth Vader learns not to mess with the Time Bandits!!!
Terror at Zita
Major
Jedi Era
 The Gran run
the world of Zita Major with as much efficiency as they could. It
was a harsh smog clouded world, but peaceful and free from and disputes.
It was unfortunate for the population of Zita Major that the Sith, led by
the Mandarin and Lord Insidious Vile, would choose to test their new
weapon on this peaceful world. The weapon would be missiles loaded
with the deadly Scarab Beetles. The Sith warship Siths Revenge
had already destroyed the Light of the Republic starcruiser in orbit of
Xxanos, and now they combined Scarab missiles with concussion bombs.
The effect was devastating. The Jedi arrived before the Sith, but in
time to be aware of the Sith plan. The Sith Lord Insidious Vile was
killed after dueling with several Jedi, and succuming to a Tombstone
Piledriver from the Time Bandit Guardian and the Sith fleet was forced to
retreat thanks to the timely arrival of the Republic starfleet.
Despite these minor victories the planet paid the ultimate
sacrifice. The damage done by the orbital bombardment ruptured
the weak crust of the planet and Zita Major exploded!
Dawn
of the Shadows
Rebel Era
 Doctor
Ugavine, Jan Vincent Torm and the Jedi Master Dee Von Zarachkas are
attempting to find the rogue Bounty Hunter turned JAN leader, Bail Ohmar.
In their travels Dee Von meets up with Cal, his Padawan learner from the
days of the Old Republic. The group tracks the Liberator, Bail's
ship, to the planet Marroon. Dee Von senses evil at work, and the
population are acting
odd. The planet has high tech, although Dr. Ugavine persists in
calling it 'primitive', yet has no Imperial presence, and not even a
Starport. The group of Rebels discover that the population are under
some kind of mind control by a super-computer. Dr. Ugavine promptly
hacks into the computer remotely to find it's location. Nearing the
computer, deep below the city, the group are confronted by Sith
Warriors. A fight ensues and Dee Von meets yet another friend from
the Jedi Academy, a Jedi Knight named Colton. They fight side by
side until a giant creature, a SHADOW, emerges. The group flee,
except for Colton's partner who is bitten by the SHADOW and is turned into
the SHADOW's undead servant. Dee Von attempts to attack the creture
but his efforts are in vain. The group return to the Force Alliance
council where they learn the terrible secret that the SHADOWS are an
ancient powerful race who may now be awakening from their 40 million year
slumber.
The Man
with the Golden Tentacle
Time
Bandits
Warning
- this adventure is very silly, and a bit rude!
(but is a genuine recent adventure)
 In
the far future Ripley exchanges blows with the time traveling mercenary
Time-Jack at the peak of one of Hoths ice capped mountains.
Time-Jack manages to push the half-ALIEN Ripley off a ledge, and a grenade
causes an avalanche that drags the Time Bandit down the
mountainside. Then, just as he goes to make his escape, Time-Jack is
startled as Viper in her Tank explode out of the mountain! Time-Jack
jumps on a STAP and attempts to flee, but the lunatic Viper drives her
tank down the snowy slopes in pursuit. A well aimed shot explodes
Time-Jack's vehicle. Time-Jack jumps free, but rolls down the
mountainside, turning himself into a giant snowball. Viper races to
the bottom of the mountain. Time-Jack hits a wall at the base of the
mountain knocking him out cold, his stolen Time-Orb flies through the air
and is caught by the pink bit.
Da da daaa
da da daaa... James Bond theme intro, which then turns into Austin
Powers!!!
Agent
Double Oh-No! arrives late with secret intelligence chief, M
(Minion). She passes Miss Spendapenny (Trish) and enters the office,
but M has forgotten why she is there, but thinks it is "Cool,"
because he's the boss. M proves he's the boss by ordering tea, even
though he doesn't drink (being a cyborged Draygon construct he does
actually drink, but he doesn't like tea!) M then remembers and
flicks the holo-remote. After flicking through Batfink and the
Wrestling Channel he eventually shows an image of a Quarren with a golden
tentacle. "This is Tesko-asda, a deadly assassin born on the
world of Wallmart," explains M. "He is traveling through
time killing important Supermarket Corporation owners. You, agent
Double Oh-No, must find and apprehend him, but more importantly, find out
who he is working for."
Viper, aka
agent Double Oh-No, visits U (Dr. Ugavine), the in the technical
department. "This may look like a deadly super laser,"
explains U, proud of his latest invention, "but it is in fact just an
ordinary pen." Viper leaves eventually leaves U equipped with a
Mute Pen, a blow up Mallet and exploding underwear!
Next stop, Cabaret.
Arriving at
Cabaret, accompanied by Agent Ripley, Agent Double Oh-No is prevented from
carrying any of her weapons, to her dismay. Still, at least she has
her exploding knickers on. Double Oh-No is greeted by two gorgeous
Zeltron men.
"It is
a pleasure to meet such a beautiful lady," greeted one of the men.
"Huh?"
went Double-Oh-No. "I ain't no lady!" At which she pulled up
her top to flash her small pert tits at the two men, and the whole lobby.
Double Oh-No
goes with the two men to a nearby lounge, where she spends the rest of the
evening drinking, being groped, drinking, lots of belching, drinking some
more, and eventually fucking both guys at the same time.
It is late
evening, and Ripley goes in search of Agent Double Oh-No. Hearing
noises from behind the door of the Zetron's room Ripley bursts in to find,
to her horror, but hardly shock, Agent Double Oh-No engrossed in double
pleasure! One of the Zeltron men look at Ripley.
"Warning!
Plan discovered!" said the guy, only this time in a more mechanical
voice. "Eliminate Agent Double-Oh-No! Activate Orgasmatron!"
At which both guy started humping Double Oh-No forcing her over the the edge
of erotic pleasure. Seeing her friend in danger Ripley lunged at the
one Male-Bot, decapitating it. That was all Agent double Oh-No needed,
she reached down and ripped off both mechanical dicks.
"Come
on!" screamed Ripley grabbing Double Oh-No and running from the room.
They were
soon stopped by Cabaret security, down solely to the fact Ripley was inadvertently
dragging a completely naked Agent Double Oh-No down the corridor.
"I'll go
put some clothes on."
Minutes Later
and the secret agents were on the trail of Tesko-Asda, the Golden
Tentacle. Their duel led them to the docking ring. Tesko-Asda at
first proved a formidable opponent, and was soon assisted by more
Male-Bots. However, our heroes would triumph, defeating the Male-Bots
and capturing The Golden Tentacle.
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The Mandalorian
Conspiracy
Campaign Log
Episode I - Wolf
Jedi travel to Aldis to
collect a force sensitive child. There the Jedi sense something
odd with a man under arrest for the murder of his wife. The Man
is Darven. Darven has been bitten by a Werewolf, who in turn
becomes a werewolf. It turns out the police captain is the real
culprit, and the werewolf that turned Darven.
Episode II - Return of
the Mandalores
Darven & Asra are on
Coruscant looking for work. they get a simple job to collect a
cargo from Baltiss IV. Krayl Nor and Malius Raith escape a Mandalorian
assault on their cargo ship. A Mandalorian fleet arrives and
invades the world, looking for Krayl Nor and the astrogation
co-ordinates he carries. A safe route through the Blood Drift to
the planet Gar.
Episode III -
Parting the Blood Drift Krayl
Nor attempts to sell the Blood Drift astrogation co-ordinates and is
offered a lucrative deal by the Mining Guild. Krayl refuses the
offer and instead continues with his sale to the Repubulic Spacers
Guild, that will give public access to the new space route. The
Republic agrees to send a scout, a sullustan called noon, to verify
the co-ordinates.
Meanwhile, on the Jedi enclave on
Anduron, Daedar and Sasha share a dream showing the destruction of a
Republic Scout ship, which they report to their Jedi Masters.
While the Jedi Master meditate on the dream Daedar and Sasha settle a
local land dispute. Returning to the enclave they are informed
about the scouting mission to the Blood Drift. Noon has been
contacted and will wait at the Elrood Sector for the Jedi to accompany
him. Darven and Azra are hired to transport the Jedi to the
Elrood Sector, taking Krayl Nor and Malius Raith as well.
Arriving at Elrood our heros are
attacked by Mandalorian Commando's. They eventually meet with
Noon who explains that the assignment is too dangerous. A
Republic escort will be required, but a sponsor must be found to cover
the 10,000 credit costs. Krayl is not happy. Darven and
Azra choose to sponsor the journey, and the heros set off towards the
Blood Drift nebula.
Emerging Beyond the Blood Drift the
Rpublic frigate nears the planet Asteroth, a gas giant with many
moons. Sensors detect signs of technology on one of the moons,
and Mining Guild starships. The hero's, along with Noon and four
Republic Troopers travel to the moon to investigate. They soon
learn that Cortosis is being mined, making it obvious the Mandalores
intend a strike against the Jedi. The hero's soon find
themselves under fire from Mandalorian Commando's and battle droids.
Noon and the Republic Troopers are all killed in a grenade thrown by a
Mandalorian, and the hero's themselves must run when confronted with a
Droideka Destroyer Droid. The hero's become trapped by
Mandalores, and Krayl Nor confronts the Mandalore. For Krayl's
dark secret is that he once held the title of Mandalore. The two
duel. When fleeing from the Droideka a box of grenades had been
accidentally triggered. This box explodes causing the building
to shake. The Mandalores lose their balance and tumble from the
gantries into the abyss below, which is where the Mandalore also falls
as he is defeated by Krayl Nor. The hero's make a hasty escape
as the reactor core of the base explodes. The hero's manage to
reach the Republic cruiser and escape the approaching Mandaloran
Warships.
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